Drink Milk, Get the Girl

While listening to the radio the other day I heard an advertisement that caused my blood to boil. In the ad, designed to promote milk consumption, two school-age boys are negotiating the exchange of various lunch items. One boy offers to trade his unhealthy lunch items to the other boy for his healthy lunch items. Among the healthy items in the exchange is a container of chocolate milk. After they complete their trade, we hear the voice of a girl expressing how much she admires boys who choose healthy drinks. She indicates that the boy who has made the healthy choice will be rewarded by her at recess in some unspecified manner.

This advertisement offends me because it perpetuates the tired and sexist meme that women are the reward for particular choices. Put succinctly, drink milk, get the girl. This meme has been and continues to be used to advertise an untold number of products. Drink this beer, buy this car, wear this clothing and this sexy woman (or these sexy women) will be all yours. Women are a commodity—objects who exist only to reward men. That the milk producers chose to perpetuate this exploitative mentality to sell milk to boys only makes it more offensive. By choosing this meme to market their product they continue to instill in boys and young men the idea that girls/women are the reward they will get for their choices.

We find this meme all too frequently in advertising. It dominates beer advertising and is a common theme in car advertisements. One need not ponder long to think of several Super Bowl advertisements that used this appeal. I will not provide links to such advertisements because I do not want to give them any more attention than they already receive. I appreciate the campaign promoted by MissRepresentation to call out these sexist advertisements through their “Not Buying It” campaign. Businesses respond primarily to one thing—revenue. So our most effective response to sexist advertisements is to make it clear that we will not purchase products advertised through the objectification of women. If enough of us make it clear to them that we will not tolerate and support such demeaning stereotypes, we can make a difference. Carl's Junior stands out in my mind as a particularly egregious abuser of women in their advertisements. As a result, I avoid eating at Carl's Jr. although I do like their hamburgers. I can list numerous other businesses as well.

Thanks to MissRepresentation and other articles I've read from feminist writers I have become much more aware of the extent to which women are objectified in the media, not only in advertising. Becoming aware of this is the first step. Now I must choose how I will respond. I don't want to support anything that removes or denigrates the worth and dignity of women actively or passively. Of course this takes conscious effort and I cannot say I am fully successful yet. But I am growing in this area. If this idea is new to you, I would encourage you to check out the MissRepresentation website and learn more about how women are routinely portrayed in the media in ways that demean them and treat them as objects for male gratification. We don't need to tell boys that they'll get the girl if they will drink milk. Nor do we men need to tolerate those who tell us that women are our reward for our choices. Surely advertisers can find ways to sell their products that affirm the dignity of all people.

Feminism Arises from Faith

Embracing feminism comes as part of an extended journey of spiritual transformation that I began last year and which continues to reshape me. Feminism ties integrally into my faith, because I believe that all humans, men and women alike, are created equally by their Creator. The distinctions that have developed in human history in which men have come to be viewed as superior and women as inferior, men as more intelligent and women less so, men treated as strong protectors and women as weak ones who need defending, all these arise from culture and from the broken nature of this world. They are not inherent in God's good creation. In Christ we see the true nature of the universe restored and one key aspect of that should be that women regain their rightful place as full equals of men. 

Unfortunately many in the Church do not accept this, which grives me deeply. As I grew up in various branches of the Church I never really confronted questions about the roles and nature of men and women. In the vast majority of churches I have attended over the years the default assumption has been that women are subordinate to men. Women were created to “help” men, to submit to their leadership and serve them as they (men) live out their divine calling. The ideal role for women, in the world in which I grew up, was to be a godly wife and mother – end of story.

Only recently have I really begun to awaken to the grievous error – let's call it sin, because that's what it really is – that the Church has perpetuated throughout so much of its history and which much of it continues to perpetuate to this day. In the interest of upholding a particular interpretation of the Bible, but in reality in the interest of maintaining a patriarchal system where men hold all the power and influence, much of the Church has silenced and marginalized women. In doing so we have robbed the Church of the voices and talents and gifts of more than half of its members and we have hindered the realization of God's Kingdom in this world by restricting women from living out their calling and utilizing their God-given talents. Of this we must repent. We men must relinquish our stranglehold on power and influence and allow the women of the Church and the world to flourish as God created them to. I truly believe that our muzzling of women causes God immense pain and sorrow – and therefore should cause us sorrow as well.

A year or more ago I read the phenomenal book Half the Sky by Sheryl Wudunn and Nicholas D. Kristof. I can say that this book planted the key seeds that have grown in me and brought me to embrace feminism as a key element of expressing my faith in God.  They wrote:

We believe that in this century the paramount moral challenge will be the struggle for gender equality in the developing world.

As I wrote earlier this year, I not only affirm this statement but I have come to recognize that this struggle remains a key moral challenge in the developing world as well, and particularly within the American evangelical church. As Carolyn Custis James argues in her book Half the Church, the Church cannot afford to squander the talents and resources of half (more than half really) of its members. 

I now struggle with the application of this conjunction of feminism and faith in my life. Much to my sorrow, the church I most regularly attend holds to a very patriarchal worldview. We don't even allow women to collect the offering, for crying out loud! My wife and I have considered looking for a new church home and may yet come to that point, but for now are choosing to remain and raise our voices in advocacy of the equality of women (and others). Sometimes I feel like a lone coyote calling in the desert, expecting stones to be thrown at any time to silence me. The church should be the most welcoming place on earth, the place where each person feels embraced and cherished and where she or he finds the freedom to develop and express her or his gifts and talents. I hope and long for the day when all churches, including my own, will realize this dream. I may yet reach a point where I feel like I must seek to realize this dream in another community, but I do care for the people I worship with and want them to come to recognize that feminism is not only not incompatible with our faith, but in fact expresses deep truths about that faith. With that in mind I keep writing, talking and raising my voice on behalf of women, while at the same time I seek to listen and learn from the many talented women in and outside the Church. It's a great, humbling learning curve and the more I learn the more I recognize that feminism arises from, expresses and strengthens my faith.

This blog entry is a part of the Feminist Odyssey Blog Carnival, Fourth Edition, hosted by From Two to One. 

Feminism is Not a Four-letter Word

Earlier this year I identified myself openly as a feminist. I did this because, as I wrote then, I believe in the radical notion that women are people. I view feminism as the next stage in the journey toward recognizing and affirming the inherent dignity and worth of all of God's people. It took us far too long to admit that slavery was wrong and take the steps to abolish it. Although it unfortunately persists to this day, most people would denounce it as fundamentally immoral because it exalts the value and worth (along with the power and control) of one human or group of humans over another. 

As people began to recognize and fight against the immorality of slavery, they also saw that the denigration and marginalization of women, their treatment as inferior beings, was also morally untenable. It has taken longer for this truth to gain traction and acceptance in society, but as feminism continues to speak out against the injustices women suffer globally its message grows stronger, as does the reaction against it. This doesn't surprise me, although it saddens me. In order to achieve the full equality of women, the patriarchal systems that have dominated human society throughout its history must be dismantled. This threatens those who enjoy the power and privilege that comes with the current structure—namely men. Julie Clawson stated this quite well in her series of blog posts describing her journey to affirming feminism.

“The feminist movement is a threat to patriarchy, there is no way around that fact. And any voice or movement that attempts to challenge the power and prestige of those supporting the status quo is bound to receive some major push-back. Since actually engaging in conversation about whether women are fully human, worthy of respect, and intelligent would be devastating to the culture of patriarchy, feminism isn't debated in our culture; it is simply slurred.”

In her series Clawson describes the obstacles that hindered her initially from identifying with feminism. The campaign against feminism, against affirming the full equality, worth and dignity of women, has been so successful in this country that even many who believe in the inherent value of women often hesitate to identify themselves as feminist. My wife would be among them. She absolutely affirms her value and that of other women, but she resists identifying herself as a feminist because of the negative baggage associated with the term. I imagine there are many others like my wife, and like myself and Julie Clawson for so long, who fear the negative response they will get if they identify themselves as feminists. As Clawson says:

“Yep, that was me. I was all ready to escape from patriarchy's lies, to live into my full potential as a woman, and to benefit from the work of feminists of the past, but I was scared to actually call myself one. I didn't want to be mocked or called a feminazi simply for suggesting that women were people too.”

Clawson provides a helpful, honest description of her journey to feminism, and I would strongly encourage readers to take the time to read her story, contained in five parts, to each of which I provide direct links here: part 1, part 2, part 3, part 4 and part 5. I appreciate Clawson's recognition that too many people identify feminism with one or two specific issues which they oppose and use that to dismiss the whole idea. These two ideas are that feminists all support abortion rights and all feminists are man-haters. Clawson unpacks the fallacy of these limitations nicely, but in order to work to debunk these false stereotypes, let me state that most feminists are in fact not anti-men, and not all feminists support abortion-on-demand. Feminism is not about exalting women over men, but affirming the full equality of men and women and building a society in which men and women work and live together in partnership. Yes, feminism advocates the dismantling of patriarchy, but not the establishment of a matriarchy nor the denial of the worth and dignity of men. Clawson describes it in these words:

“While I agree that for respect to flourish, patriarchal attitudes that denigrate women or privilege men at the expense of women will have to be sacrificed, those things are sins that need to be repented of and not the core aspects of male identity that some have argued they are.”

Like Clawson, I am no longer afraid to be called a feminist. I choose to deal with the negative labels and slander that come my way as a result because, to again cite Clawson, “As a Christ-follower who cares about the truth (not to mention justice), I believe it is necessary to oppose these lies and dismantle misunderstandings with the light of reality.” Clawson also refers to a comment left by a woman on her blog, in which she wrote: “If I don't self-identify as a feminist, then that allows people to maintain their stereotypes of feminists and who we are.” Feminism is ultimately a positive belief – the affirmation of the value, worth and dignity of women for who they are, without prescribing what that must look like. There is diversity within feminism, but the essential core message should resonate with all who call themselves by the name of Jesus Christ. Jesus in his words and his actions actively affirmed the dignity of women, and so must we. That is why I am a feminist.

“I no longer think of 'feminism' as the f-word or a term to be avoided, but a way of life to be embraced. A way of life that helps women break free of the cage of patriarchy and find the space to become whole.”

Feminism--It's not Just for Women

Tomorrow is International Women's Day, so let me begin by congratulating all the women I know on this, the one day of the year when we recognize and affirm you for being who you are. Let me also apologize for our failure to recognize and affirm you as women the remainder of the year. As I wrote on this day three years ago, some men might dream of a world without women. They might see this as a virtual paradise. More accurately, I think most men dream of a world in which women exist only to serve them and satisfy their needs and otherwise remain silent and unseen. In fact, that would describe our current world all too accurately. However, I would not want to live in such a world. A world without women would be a world without so much that enriches and enlivens us as humans and as men. It would be a sad, uninteresting and, unfortunately, probably a rather violent place.

In January I acknowledged myself as a feminist or, more accurately, as an awakening feminist. In acknowledging this I felt somewhat like one who is “coming-out,” because there still exists an enormous amount of shame and teasing for men who support the equality of women. Some see feminism as a curse of modern liberalism, not recognizing the significant effect that denying full equality to half of the human race has on our society and our world. Many think that feminism is only for and about women—men have no role to play here. As I wrote in February, I recognize more and more that my first role as a male feminist is to listen and learn and then to support and encourage the voices of the women who are speaking out. But feminism is not just for women. The equality of men and women is an issue for all of us and men not only have a role in advocating the equality of women, they also stand to benefit from it. This articleby Soraya Chemaly offers a good explanation of the need for male feminists—not because women are powerless without us men, but because we men hold the positions of privilege and power and are in the position to help bring about the needed changes in our society. Feminism is not just about women. It's about all of us, because we all are created equally in the image of God and we will all benefit the more we acknowledge and affirm that in practice. 

The Perspective of Privilege

This week in the men's Bible study I've begun attending, the pastor leading the study led us to look at Isaiah 58. This passage, for those not familiar, contains some strong exhortations to:

“loose the chains of injustice

and untie the cords of the yoke,

to set the oppressed free

and break every yoke.”

The pastor, a friend of mine and a man whom I respect, challenged the men in the group to consider where we might find oppression around us and how we might take part in setting those free who are oppressed and in fighting injustice. The men struggled with this a bit, offering some thoughts about situations in other countries—valid observations worth making. But when pressed to think of examples of injustice and oppression within our local or even national context, they really ran against a wall and what little response they offered tended toward the idea that in America we don't really know oppression or injustice, that all Americans have equal opportunity and possibility to pursue their dreams and develop their lives. Any failures in this area, they essentially argued, are due more to lack of personal initiative than anything.

As I listened to their discussion and looked around the room, I realized that every man in the room was white. Most of them are seniors and many grew up in the Great Depression of the 1930's, so I cannot say that none of them have experienced hardship or difficulty. But at this point in life we represented a very small cross-section of society: a group of white men from middle and upper-class society. We couldn't adequately respond to the pastor's question (who is himself a white male, for the sake of full disclosure) because the simple fact is that we all come from the privileged group in our society. I do not know these men well enough yet to know how much (or little) they have interacted with those in our society who do not come from this privileged position, but regardless of this interaction, all of us see the world from our privileged position. We do not see the oppression and injustice in our society because it is invisible to us. I raised this point in the group and received some acknowledgment of it, but in general the group didn't seem to grasp the truth that we represent a privileged minority and that this affects how we perceive the world around us.

Lately I have been reading a lot from the pens of feminist bloggers, trying to better understand feminism and the feminist perspective on the world and our society in particular. The more I do this, the more I recognize how unaware and uninformed I am. I realize how much my perspective on every issue has been shaped by my background and status as a white male in America. Living overseas for several years has also done great things to stretch me and help me grow in this area, but in many ways I feel that I have just begun to learn. I want to be an advocate for women, but what I understand now is that first and foremost I must learn to listen to them. As Dianne Anderson wrote in this relevant post, I need to recognize that the disenfranchised, the oppressed, those battling injustice, are not voiceless. Rather, those of us in positions of privilege and power do not listen to them. We don't hear them. We don't need to—and probably don't want to—listen to them, because we operate from a position of power and we like the way things are. Who wouldn't?

This doesn't mean that I should remain silent. There is value and purpose to adding my voice to the voices of the marginalized: be they women, ethnic or sexual minorities, the poor here or in other countries, or any other oppressed group. I must stop ignoring them. I must be willing to surrender my position of power and privilege. But rather than telling them what they should do and how they should conform themselves to some standard put in place by the privileged class, I need first and foremost to listen. I need to hear about their experiences and try to enter into their situation as best as I am able, recognizing that I cannot fully become one of them. As Diane writes:

"Essentially: it is a hard road to navigate, but the first and foremost thing in any social justice approach needs to be peace, patience, grace, and mercy. Understand things before you dive in to “help.” You may just learn something worth knowing."

Jesus can serve as my role model in this. After all, he occupied the position of ultimate power and privilege. He had everything at his disposal. Yet, as we are reminded in Philippians 2, he chose to give all of this up. He stepped out of his position of power into a position of servanthood, of powerlessness. This is not the model offered us by many concepts of “biblical manhood.” But it is a model that helps us to actualize Isaiah 58, to become agents of transformation who work toward the realization of God's kingdom on earth rather than just holding on until we can get out of this fallen place.

I've only begun my journey of transformation, but I hope to learn to listen. I want to recognize the injustice and oppression around me and, in listening to those suffering from it, to understand how I can work with them to break those chains and set the oppressed free.

I am a feminist

I am a feminist. Perhaps more accurately I should say I am becoming a feminist, because I have only begun to become aware of what this means and the implications it holds for how I live. But I have come to recognize and decided that I will no longer be ashamed to declare that I am a feminist.

How can that be? It it even possible for a man to be a feminist? The succinct answer is: yes, it is. Consider the basic definition of feminism, as I've read it on several good blogs recently:

Feminism is the radical notion that women are people.

Another definition, this one pulled from the dictionary and posted on this site, states that feminism is:

the theory of the political, economic and social equality of the sexes.

I wholeheartedly affirm the first definition above and only reluctantly affirm the second due to the use of the word “theory,” which I suppose is obligatory because of the -ism at the end of the word. I certainly don't consider the equality of men and women to be a theory, although in practical reality it often remains only that. So I am a feminist because I believe absolutely in the equality of men and women. Women are people and worthy of the same treatment that men receive in society. I believe that the equality of men and women is a fundamental, universal truth that should be expressed and upheld in every culture.

I first became interested in feminism after living overseas and seeing how women are still so severely subjugated in so many places. I felt angry, frustrated and grieved to see women I know treated as second-class, inferior beings by the men around them. I become angry when I see a woman's identity defined solely by her role as mother, wife or daughter and her value determined primarily by her ability to bear male offspring. I believe that such behavior should result in outrage in any human. The marginalization and dehumanization of women is not a minor, peripheral issue in our modern world. It is a central, key issue. As Nicholas D Kristof and Sheryl Wudunn state in their profound book Half the Sky:

We believe that in this century the paramount moral challenge will be the struggle for gender equality in the developing world.

As I have begun to delve more deeply into the discussions of the feminist community, I have come to realize that the equality of women and men is not only the paramount moral challenge in the developing world, it remains a (the?) significant moral challenge in the developed world as well. Previously I would have argued that women in the Western world have it pretty good. Compared to women in the developing world, this is largely true. But having it better than a severely oppressed group of people is not the same as enjoying equality and I have begun to understand this better.

I have been awakened to examine more carefully how women are portrayed (and often not portrayed) in media and to make my choices about entertainment more carefully in light of this. Someone (I must confess that I do not have the link ready at hand) pointed out that in the recently released movie Tin Tin, there are NO significant female characters. While acknowledging that the movie is a flight of fantasy, what does it say to those who watch it that this fanciful world contains no meaningful women? While watching the TV show NCIS the other day I realized that, although there are a couple significant female characters, they do not fill half the roles in the show, although women make up roughly half the population of our world. Would men be satisfied if they were given only a quarter or less of meaningful roles in movies and television? I think not. Yet NCIS is by no means the exception, unless it is exceptional simply for having at least one decent female character.

Perhaps this seems insignificant. After all, what does it really matter how women are portrayed (or not) in the media? In answer to this question I refer you to the website www.missrepresentation.org. If possible, watch the film because it gives good insight into the significance of this issue.

There are many other compelling arguments demonstrating that equality of women and men remains an unreached goal in the West and in coming blogs I hope to explore some of them, although there are many great blogs out there that are doing so even better than I could hope to. I have added a few of them to my blog list at the right. (As a disclaimer, I do not necessarily affirm everything each of these writers/bloggers posts, but their arguments are still worth considering and taking into account. I do not have to fully agree with someone in order to be able to learn from her or him.) For me the most central reason to stand up for women is that they are created equally in the image of our Creator. Unfortunately, those who call themselves by his (her?) name are often the least willing to put this equality into practice. But more on that in my next post.